Saturday, 17 February 2018

JNU charm lost

Our brave news reporter Shri Maithum Srivastava has broken this exclusive story this morning. Its coming right from JNU campus. AISA activist and alleged student leader, Shehla Rashid was seen crying alone at ganga dhaba. It was a mega scene for never-attending-class students and never-taking-class teachers of JNU. While they are habituated fighting, blocking and agitating over a coin flip also, today they found it strange that their cheer leader is crying sitting at ganga dhaaba. Shehla is not known from crying in this circle but for zindabad murdabaad so a shock wave spread across entire campus as it was a sign of her turning right wing.

Soon the news spread like fire and cameramen from all channels started gather there. Our fastest channel, HMP news was first to reach the venue and they were quick to take a bite from Shehla.

Reporter : "Shehla Biwi, why are are crying this much ?"
Shehla: " Gaand fati ke bhadwe.."
Reporter: "But madam, what happened ??"
Shehla : "Hamko paagal bana rahe hain maad%%chod ke bachche..."
Reporter: "But madam, what is the issue ??"
Shehla : " Today is Afzal maamu death anniversary, no tukde tukde, no agitation, no dafli, kanhaiya has turned sanghi, Umar doesn't have time out of gaanza, what to do ? "
Reporter: "But madam, that is anti national !!"
Shehla : "Gaand fati ke bhadwe, sutta nikaal !!"


HMP news has confirmed authenticity of this news promoted the reporter to editor for this sensational bite.


Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Part-III

Alright its 16 Aug 2017 and I am writing part III of my memoir.

Aah an year has passed now since last post and as usual lot of things have changed for me. Moved from one product to another product (CP4 to SYN), not a drunkard anymore. Moved away from daily drinking to weekend drinking. Don't believe, well yeah, its too hard to believe that but yes, I have moved on from being a drunkard to a planned drinker.

Let me write about drinking first, after all this is the major blog topic anyways. I used to drink a hell lot earlier but thank to MODI, I am a planned drinker. Hell yes, the day note ban happened, I was cash starved so could not drink for a week then visited Patna for my routine vacation. Nitish had banned liquor in Bihar by then so no drinks there as well. It turned out to be a boon in disguise as I got a break from beer for approx a month. Somehow will power creeped in and I decided not to go to regular drinking any more. Now, its been around 10 months and I am a weekend drinker.

Also moved from beer to whisky. Well, never though that I would be able to give up on beer but it happened. No more 300 bucks a day for beer. Its a 460 bucks for a full bottle of MC1 whisky which keep me running over weekend. Cost saving, health saving and all good. Initially there were itchings to grab in middle but slowly I got tuned to weekend stuff. Yesterday was a bank holiday, on 14th evening mind poked me have a whisky on 14th night but I avoided it. Will power indeed.

If I look back on fast three four years, I have given up on two bad habits, gutkha 2 years ago and now beer. What a change, that too without big boasts of giving up etc. It slowly came to me without any noise and I am happy about it.




Monday, 8 February 2016

Part-1




Memoirs of a Drunkard Manager




22 June 2014:

Woke up at around 4:00 AM! It’s strange to wake up so early after consuming 4 beers last evening, whereas general impression is after drinking so much alcohol, people sleep longer. Anyway, I have good way to kill time when I wake up early morning, laptop. Not needed to start laptop as it was on whole night to download movies from torrent sites. Laptop was hot due to constant running, restarted twice to pull back performance, opened a you-tube ORNOB TV debate, and started playing on-line pool game. But hey, I could not focus, head was spinning. Tried to focus but no luck. But, I have been a physical scientist (hehehe). I have discovered the art of getting rid of alcohol induced head spinning. It’s vulgar to write but I jerk off to get rid of it. And how to get excitement for that jerks off, easy, internet has that as well. Opened a porn site, saw a few videos, and there I go, was very relaxed after this. Could focus better and react properly. I believe this too early waking up gives me that free time when there is myself and no one else. Kids sleeping, I get 4 hours of alone time to get back that personal space, even though temporary, it’s bliss.

I just getting this in my mind, Am I a chronic alcoholic? I drank 4 beers last evening, 3 beers the other day, 2 beers before that day. What has happened to me? How come I became such a drunkard? Well, I could make many excuses but there is a sense of being alone inside. Many emotions, many thoughts, many clarifications, many anguish, many compliments, which I was to share with many people around, some of them are dead, some are alive but from past experiences I know there is no point sharing with them. They all are having their own challenges, frustrations, achievements, compromises that for me to share with them would not make things better. How I see it is , as a beer bottle full of foam inside ready to explode, but I have put the lid tight on top of it. The foam pressurizes the walls of bottle, creates dejection, to forget that, beer is ultimate solution.

Saturday was a working day, interviews for software engineers for our department. Three of us along with recruitment team sat from 10 AM through continuous interviews to hire 12 for team. Due to bad quality of resumes it has been a long battle to select right candidates. All crap products come for PXL interviews; perhaps they don't know the PXL as a brand. Have a feeling; company should create a brand if they are looking for good resources in IT sector. Had pizza at lunch, was good for a change. Ate three pies and felt full.

One of the bright resources plight due to emotional inclinations to a colleague girl makes me laugh and feel sad at the same time. He has been very intelligent, hardworking and carrying positive attitude. I realized that 2 years back and kept the high flyer career option before him, he agreed to it and he kept growing very fast. Got two promotions and many quality awards for studies and kept moving. The one thing which kept growing inside him was that little hidden arrogance which I realized and kept him telling to keep in control. He tried I believe but then arrogance got better of him. And, then this girl came into picture. Well, she was in picture for long, but they got closer during time spend in office. He has become very protective about her now. I could have guided and checked his addiction for the girl at least in office space, but alas, he has been moved to new manager. It’s been a strategy of senior local management to move all good resources from my bank to the new manager to corner me. I took a principal stand during team division and there the game happened. I was hoping that UK management would interfere but they didn't and it happened. Anyway, I have no hard feelings against it, As I myself, am trying to detach from emotional bond with team. Perhaps, new job is a good option for me. But hey, at that package, jobs would be less so I have to be patient before I get one. Back to plight of resource, he has become a laughing stock in team and between managers. He earlier agreed with his new manager to come on Sunday as the girl was coming in Sunday to support urgent backlog due to data center move issues. After all communications about this arrangement to global team, girl's validation team planned to work on Saturday, so girl was asked to come on Saturday and here the emotional addiction of boy forced him to change his mind. In that emotional high state, he called his new manager and told him his change of plans to work on Saturday. If he was not emotionally addicted, he could have realized that it’s a booby trap and people would easily know the reasons for change of plans.

The new manager and associate director are bitching about it openly in front of me, I want to reach out to the guy and plead him to curb his emotions (I did once upon asking of AD recently just before the team divide, but now I realize that it was a trick of AD to create those differences between me and half of team). I would write the whole conversation in next page, As I think It was a good discussion, I played well there to put points very clearly between both of them, but perhaps the audience was not the right age for that discussions and they are behaving like a love bird. The cunning smile of a senior colleagues when I mentioned few who planned didn't come and few who were not expected did come to support is a clear indication that whole team has sensed this chemistry and are laughing about it. It’s a serious problem for team as emotional baggage would put the resource in corner and he could take some bad decisions lethal for him and team prospects especially in light of LCD initiative. On top of everything, he was pursued by AD to move to afternoon shift with a plea of LCD initiative. I think, even though LCD initiative plea is genuine, he may take this one as management attempt to distance him from his girl and create hatred for management. Let's see how it goes ? Hope all settles well. In this respect, I am a little happy that this is not happening in my team. Bad to think, that's a honest confession.

Got a call from Onky yesterday afternoon during interviews. He is a good friend and we have not met for long. He wanted to meet me along with one of his colleague turned friend Aseem, who is currently as SAUDI and wants to relocate to INDIA even if for lesser package. Onky has been in financial mess for long as he has mentioned it to me quite many times. The bad news for him is so elongated that I start getting depressed when I see his number on my mobile ringing. Strange but true, the depression is infectious and amid all my depressive states, I want to avoid one more. But, he is a good friend, so I have to listen to his sad story, he has been struggling for long, but he also can't share this with his family, same case as I have, but the good thing for him is that he has a pair of ears in me to at least hear the frustration. He got married 1 year ago, her wife is cute. But, she has been living with her mother-in-law for long. Onky tells me positive side of this separate living saying she needs to spend time with her mom, but it could be due to financial crisis as well. Anyway, I hope that his worries end soon. He is a hard working guy, very gentle nature and man of words, he should not have got difficulties in jobs at least, but whatever I have felt bad in him is his patriarchal attitude, his pride of being born in brahmin family and having a superlative complex. Not his fault, but this ego sometime comes in way of making compromises on job where he lag a lot. Hope, life would teach him that and he realizes that good earning jobs have plenty of compromises hidden which perhaps no proud father teaches his sons. Once misses that in childhood, life teaches us very hard way, a way which totally punctures the inflated ego and straightens the angled pride.

What a feeling getting linkedin short messages from Yogesh bhai and some time back from Ranga bhai ! Both asking for any openings in my current company. Time changes fast. There was a day when yogesh took my interview in infotech as software engineer and I was so new to IT world that I was calling SIR to even junior staff. Life is changing so fast, that I am scared. It’s a mixed feeling actually. One wave of pride comes at back of mind, which forces me to shout at top of voice telling world, see, I how much I have achieved, that the people who recruited me are looking for references. If an IT guy, it’s an achievement for sure. Just when I am about to feel pride about it, another bigger wave of fear comes and tells me of the future uncertainty. If this could happen to them, it could happen to me as well. My negative is that I don't have a backup support system, Feeling of being jobless and the commitments I have financially gives me such a panic that all the waves of pride subside below that. I get scared, very much scared. Hope, one day, I could come out of this, but at the moment, it’s very very scary. I need to work without stopping for another 10-15 years for sure to fulfil my minimum commitment with kids. They are so young that by the time they grow as teen, I would be 50+. Common life, give me strength for that. I need to be with them when their career is starting. God help me.

The new CNDUT bunch in office is bitch club. These morons are always sulking before senior director, move in blocks and keep murmuring. I have a feeling they hate me, my confidence in front of senior management. I don't know, but I have this in me, I could be full of confidence in meeting, I thought, It would be appreciated but its been hated. I think this part of office culture everywhere. I don't mind it. It was strange to hear their whispers in urinal "Look how he talks, he is behaving like AAD !". We had just broke from monthly RTSM managers meeting with Verender, I talked with ease about issues and opportunities with all. Should not we talk with confidence? Leave it, there is not pointing thinking about this. May be, I should be very polite with them while talking.

Vibhash, the typical Bihari guy. Yeah, this is also alive this week. This guy came to HYD after my arrival in search of jobs. He could not get one quickly and moved back. Now, after eight years, after having wife and kids, his incomes sources seems to have dried up and looking for a break in IT industry. I somehow convinced Keshava about his abilities and got the interview lined up. With little bit of hesitation he cleared first round, but got rejected in second round by Keshava. Communication skills, the reason. Bihari would have this problem for sure, especially when one has hard impact of local slang. Poor guy, could not work on this area in Bihar and that's hurdle for his IT career. Keshava, as usual, working on Verender agenda, rejected for this reasons, I am being very cynical writing this, but it should be a honest blog. I also, in hind sight, was happy at rejection. Yeah looks like villain, but that's true, I always has a worry that close connections from native, if working in office place together, could bring dark chapters alive to new people, which I would not like at all. Forget about earlier hard times of life, if he somehow speaks about the "LADKI and ONE NIGHT" episode, would not be good for my self-respect and image. Keshava changed his mind on Saturday, and asked me to take a call on it, He may have expected me to quickly start saying "THANK YOU" etc. But, I kept calm and asked back to give me one week to rethink. He may be thinking something else but I know the reason why I am asking for time. Very selfish of me, but can't help !!


23-June-2014

Its Monday and I have asked for a leave with AD. Yeah, pretty tired and want to have a non-working day during weekday. My way to induce authority over things not-under-control. Well, last afternoon was a big denial moment for me. Onky, just few steps away from my home, asking for time to meet up but I kept on excusing on my spinning head and request to come tomorrow. Yeah, it’s really bad to do this way but the shape what I was in after so many beers Saturday evening, were putting me totally out of shape and I didn't want to meet one except him in such a bad shape. Yeah, he was with some Srinivas, to which I didn't want to meet in such bad shape. Finally, he went back without meeting and I didn't check back. Never mind, It’s better to not to meet in bad shape than to oblige and then get a bad impression. I hope Onky understands this. I had told him plans of meeting today, hope he turns up. Last night USSR-Belgium match was so boring that I am almost deciding to not to watch any more. Really slow and novice game played by both sides. This morning, woke up at around 6:45 AM and without any plan picked up the phone. Well, that may not be true, as the alarm must be ringing to attract my attention. I checked the stuff and found a missed call from AD. Without checking the time of call, I simply called back. AD, must be in his last minutes of sleep, replied in lazy voice, exchanged good mornings and mentioned that he wanted to check about issues with systems on Sunday. I mentioned that three people were working on Sunday, the love bird pair and another one. He further clarified that he got the information from the new manager and I was somehow relaxed. People have to take that pain of reporting on weekends, and it should not be always me reporting of issues. Actually, I logged on Sunday to check about work, found these three working. But, very awkward of me, did not ping them to check about status. All of a sudden, I have become a very conservative when it comes to team calling. Ideally, I was very out spoken and free for all always, but something has changed inside me. It was just a matter of pinging them, saying good morning, and checking about issues outstanding but I did not move. Well, Not sure how did it happened, but now a days I don't think too much on my behavior towards people. Perhaps it’s the process of emotional detachment which is under progress. Hope I get a new job, before it explodes in to something annoying incident.

Recollecting the chat occurred in AD's car on the way to office on Saturday for interviews. AD was sharing the conflict which happened to him with HR and recruitment team on Friday afternoon over a candidate's rejection by HR on pretext of bad communication skills and hyper emotional attitude. AD was very excited telling the story putting himself as HERO of the situation and rest other villains. Although, I didn't find any wrong in what he did in that situations. A girl, selected and cleared by us in two technical rounds was good and she stumbled in HR round. HR as usually, having superlative complex over other team, didn't communicate properly the reasons of rejections to AD. Padmini, after so many chase ups, finally gave a small reply about bad communication skills and emotional issues as reasons for rejection. AD had small discussion on bad resume quality and excessive efforts to hire right candidates. Without too much of discussion, recruitment team was shouted upon by HR and hence was a situation created. AD did the right thing to call all parties on one table for discussion, not sure, how it has been taken by all other teams as for my experience HR has been egoistic all the time. Historically, HR head, is the founder of company INDIA office, hence he is termed as BOSS of all by culture. HR carries this superlative and upper hand attitude in daily discourse. AD, himself like the new manager is a person who wants to have all the controls possible. I see this as a interest clash. I mentioned AD to be a careful in not to hurt the inflated ego of HR partners. I am not sure how he may have taken it but I spoke my mind. Let us see, How it boils down to different teams in future. How I see the situation is, no matter how correct and morally right one could be on a subject, not to impose it on others as they could have different perspective to it. It could be a case when others were forced to agree on our view point for once, but it creates a hair crack in relations and other teams sit in a tiger-waiting-for-prey mode waiting for one mistake by us to hunt us down. Well, this I have learnt from my experience when in conflict with SD on another recruitment issues and I still carry that hair crack in our relation which has almost alienated myself from main course. SD tries all his powers to keep creating awareness in teams about my alienation, May it be domain expertise or anything else. I have learnt it hard way and I mentioned this to AD as well. Despite all these issues of delayed recruitment and extra efforts and escalations and fights, I feel victorious at times. Again, I am a little selfish here, but the blot on me for slow recruitment on SETL position pointed by SD is being proven wrong somehow. New man in charge, his strategies, we following the line, stills no results. So, it was not me but the process of recruitment and our job requirements which were tough to be met in tight deadlines Mr. SD. Now you realize, I would be very very happy if someone points to you and tells you this that you just didn't like my face otherwise everything was OK no matter you like or not. 

Another funny moment worth writing. The new manager is finally enjoying the power and control over his team. After every conversation with team members where he is able to convince team member about his plan, his question, he murmurs a tune and drinks water too many times from bottle. It’s a regular feature I am noticing for long. I have a feeling he was under tremendous pressure taking over the team. I am not sure if there are any concerns with him leading the team in long term. Hope he does well but there is a stress visible on his face dealing with people. I am only worried that I should not be blamed for this as I have cut off all communication links with old team members, well not totally cut off, but not initiating on those channels. Hope they never raise this with me.





















Part-II

Its 8th Feb 2016 and I am writing part II of my memoir. A long time has passed (perhaps 2 year) after my first post and many things have happened in between. Would try to mention those, but yeah, many thing have happened in the mean time which has changed my view about life from totally negative perhaps depressive to some what mixed bag. I believe this is what time does to people, hence time is considered to be ultimate healer. When things are not right, one may choose to whine but I learnt that its always best to leave things for time to take care, which one is not able to handle itself.

OK ! Let me put the best thing first, though I may sound like very selfish but hey who is not in this world ? Won't create too much of suspense, the new manager about which I talked in part I has resigned now. BOOM !! Yeah its selfish, but this is fact. He has resigned now and looking for another role in another company for better package. He is serving notice period and suppose to leave organization in mid of march.

How does it feel that the people who created more trouble for me are leaving ? Well, honest confession is mixed bag. A sudden spark of winning comes and fades away without me enjoying it fully, and several shades of spent time, happy moments are figuring out before eyes. Actually I am feeling sad for most of the time I think of this event. Me, and the new manager went for onsite last march and we have a good team of new technology functioning in our office. To put things in perspective, when decision was being taken to send two of us to UK for new platform training, the AD had many doubts on my interest on this initiative and perhaps on my skill as well. They made a big hoopla about the domain knowledge to corner me and his rant was about supremacy of the same. He may have thought that the new manager would be triumphant without much efforts and I would be lack-lustre struggling to learn the domain and hence  trailing by miles only to fade away. But hey, I am not the easy nut to crack, I shrugged away the unnecessary pressure created by those rants and shown them the mettle I am made of. Yes, one year it about to get by, 10 people working on that platform with ease and myself being considered to be the best one on that platform to lead from India. Doesn't look game changer ? Yeah, it is. All critics silenced, well not possible to silence those at all, but now they murmur while earlier they were pretty vocal.

This new platform brought to me an opportunity which requires skills of coordinating with clients directly. This is my favourite game and I was being pushed by all into it with opposite intentions. Result is, I got at least three recommendation of positive feedback from clients and many such by the project managers with whom I interacted. It was a show of strength, where UK people supported to my surprise all positive feedbacks with whole heart and know what, I was awarded rating two for this efforts last year.While I was feeling happy and celebrating this new found success, trying to analyse what made the new manager quit ?

As I mentioned earlier that domain expertise was a big hoopla created to corner me and stabilize others, everyone seemed to be riding that wave and all decisions were made based on domain expertise.  It raised hope on senior management on IND side that new manager would win the game hands down and there was scope for them to capture all eyes with Indian team affairs. After all, new platform is the future, and those who hold that, hold the key for future of teams. And who is winning the game, who has odds in favour of him, of course the domain expert rabbit, the new manager. This myth was broken in first week of training itself in UK when the tortoise stated taking lead, the tortoise who was not afraid of asking questions, who was steady learner, who was not afraid of going out of way and getting things clarified, who didn't wear shells of a typical manager. Yeah, the typical managerial outlook is the biggest hurdle towards learning. I had nothing to loose, so the deemed tortoise started making solid pace, while the esteemed rabbit started sulking. Sulking under tremendous expectation and reputation. The next best thing I had due to my experience was technology, C#. It helped the tortoise capture the core faster than imagined. Soon, I was placed in group of people who were supposed to answer questions and provide consultancy in matters where high end technological knowledge was required.  Things took a turn around 180 degrees and hey, nothing succeeds like success. Those who were openly against me, started taking back seat, they started murmuring and I kept getting feedbacks from my project managers at the same time. This turn around perhaps started creating a doubt in head of new manager. The aura of domain expertise started diminishing. He tried hard to catch up, started learning C# as well, but things were moving at such a pace that perhaps it was difficult to pick up with regular queries coming out of local team and globally and there he is, standing naked, stripped out of domain expertise robe, the then supporters looking the other way.  Not that, he was not working hard, he was doing all the tedious stuff in old platform and still putting up a great show but since senior management is genuinely backing the new platform, all his efforts were being regarded, but not with that degree of respect as earlier. Further, study quality has taken a dive in last one year, and he lost his face on that front as well. Hardly, we would get a good study on the floor and justifications were not easy to be given. That depleted that experienced managerial skills paint as well. Hence, if you are an honest critics of yourself, you would find yourself nowhere and start re-evaluating yourself and then one day, you decide to quit. Fair on his part as he was doing really good in whatever he was put into. I had some good moments with him working hence the sadness comes from there. Also, the team has grown to 40+ and to manage them alone would be a tough task hence feel his presence is required. Yeah, they would recruit another one, but again to start everything from scratch would be a pain for me hence sense of missing him has started inside hence happiness is being overshadowed by sorrow to be honest.

Did a long write up on the office events, some good things happened on personal front as well. I booked an apartment. Yeah, you wont imagine that negativity from first part would let me take a positive decision at all. But no, things changed, booked a 2 BHK apartment nearby my current place at cost of 40 Lakhs. It measures 1210 SFT and looks OK for a small family. Not too much lavish, but 160 apartments spread in 3 blocks, 6 floors mine being on second floor, west facing nearby to lift. Felt good about it as weekend gave me a purpose. Every Saturday or Sunday, I would go to see the progress even if nothing is happening on ground. The loan was approved by SBI, to surprised of many, but felt good about it. The hand over is somewhere in March end, but I think it would go beyond that and may be in April end. EMI of 35000 starts this month but ideas of closing off loan already taking rounds in the head. Taking apartment was not a easy decision at all. Vulnerability of job security, chances of moving into another place with next job were two things always pushing me against idea of taking apartment. But three major things pushed me into this one, first, my elder brother has taken one already in Pune, which gives a bit of confidence to get into risk. Second, the water problem in current place where I am staying is humongous. I am someone who loves to get under running water for bathing but hey, here water is not at all present. Every time you open the tap, you get a whistling sound but no water. That too, when I am ready to pay extra bucks for continuous water supply. Got lot of skin related issues due to bathing with stored water. Third, the kids are growing and not finding any friends company at home. As a result, they are becoming arrogant and too much demanding. Perhaps getting in a society of 150+ would fetch them pool of friends to play with while currently we are in 30 flats society with hardly any kids to play around. The new society comes with small playground so I am sure, kids would spend time playing rather than sitting on my laptop and mobile for long. So, one thing positive happened in my life last year on personal front. But hey, that's not it. As soon as story reaching towards a happy ending, a turn is there awaiting to create a jolt. A turbulence. Would write about it in next paragraph.

Alright, loan processed, good to go with hand over of apartment in March-April 2016, and here comes the twist in tale. About a month back, got a call from Bangalore. It was Bibin from Bioclinica, calling me and checking if he is looking for another opportunity ? I checked with work location, he mentioned Bangalore and Mysore, I mentioned that I have just booked an apartment and hence would be difficult to move at the moment. He replied back, Would not you take a chance for Director position for development team in INDIA ? I was taken aback. Really, a director position, who the hell in world would miss that one ? While I was thinking about it, Bibin pushed the game a little far by mentioning that flats could be rented out but this opportunity is not to be missed. That clicked my mind. To be honest, I was clicked by the idea that this is not the end for my career. I am considered valuable by people on earth and that sense of achievement gave me lot of courage and confidence. I said, yes let's go ahead. He quickly booked a telecon with RTSM Director, USA and got into call and cleared with ease in matter of two days. What's next ? The VP, RTSM development was about to visit INDIA in next two weeks and Bibin started looking for my time in Bangalore in those days. I was hesitating on committing to timelines as VP's plan was not clear and  we had our senior management visiting HYD office in one of those weeks. To my luck, VP's plans were confirmed just in time and I got a date to meet him one week before our senior management visit. So, all put in place. I could play around with this opportunity without disturbing any schedule anywhere. Bibin asked if I am OK to book flight tickets and within 2 minutes I booked it and all set. Had to tell my AD that I am going to Bangalore for a day for friend's marriage and may be 2 days if it takes time to come back. Discussion with VP was OK in my opinion, in some cases, I charmed him while at some other question, I rudely countered him. Which I was regretting later. He mentioned his vision of making IND team grow from 15 to 30 at max in one year. I abruptly mentioned, that this is a very conservative estimate, I would think of growing to a number of 50. Whooops, I should have chosen the words carefully. He was impressed by my vision of establishing more technological team after current set up stable. He put me in to pigeon hole  by asking a question that I am more into development throughout so how would I be able to keep a balance between development and validation team. I mentioned that yes, I was developer since start of my career and the current role demands of that. But I have a good oversight of validation affairs as well hence I would be able to manage that aspect also. Not sure, how VP would have taken my answers but in my view, it was mixed bag. BTW, I have not got any update from Bibin yet, as he keeps mentioning, Ken has not taken a decision yet, and I am loosing hope of getting this opportunity but this is not making me sad. This has given me lost of strength that my resume is being considered for senior management position, and I could live with this positive though for rest of my life. Very good feeling of accomplishment, having some worth, even if I don't get selected for this position.

While the journey toward Bangalore started early morning 4:30 AM. Got ready, got to airport bus pick point and reached airport in time. Everything went by schedule. While boarding the car out of Bangalore airport, got some paint in mid part of waist and left, pain was mild so ignored it and moved towards. It took a tiring long 2 hrs. to reach Bioclinica office. Bangalore traffic is a rogue thing to happen in life. While going to office crossed those streets where we used to visit while dad was being operated for cancer. All those places where I used to go for breakfast, to go for beer, to go for small items purchase, I revisited those and got a bit sad. All those memories started coming in back of head. After interview, the pain in waist started increasing. My return flight was at 10 PM and I was done by 1 PM hence had 9 hours to spend. Didn't know what to do ? Started taking rounds of streets nearby, pain increasing. Suddenly saw a beer bar with restaurant. First time, I said no to myself and moved ahead, but after half an hour reached the same place and got into for 2 beers and chicken biryani. The pain kept increasing. After finishing beer and food in 1.5 hrs, got a bus back to airport, slept half in the bus while pain increasing further. By the time, reached airport, pain was at its peak. Was not able to sit or stand properly. Kept switching legs and shoes open. Flight to my dismay was 2 hrs late for no reasons. Upon asking, they mentioned, high security alert on eve of Republic day hence kept waiting while pain reaching it top. Got to home by 2 AM by then pain had taken toll of me. Early morning, huge severing started taking place. No respite. Lot of fever and pain together and I was almost dead. Informed AD about bad health and it was a six day long out of office as result including weekends.  I learnt that only way to keep this pain out was to do stretching and hope I am able to continue.


Life throws something at you when you least expect and hey, your career and personalities are built on those throwing. Another event such perhaps would have changed my life (we would come to know only in future, but I could sense it already, may be wrong). Here is what happened till now: There was one work item during Christmas last year, which was supposed to be given cover by my AD as original programmer was out for long vacation. We managed the cover but the work could not meet its timelines related expectations and hence was escalated by out clients.  AD was supposed to attend that meeting, I not being anywhere in the picture. All of a sudden, AD had to move to his village (I have a strong feeling that he avoided it deliberately sighting travel reasons) and put me in loop to attend the meeting. The local senior management asked for a drill meeting for preparation for the grand meeting which was being chaired by the supreme boss, we all report into him eventually, he is a new comer hence all very defensive, eager to make an impression of under control. During prep talks, I presented my excel report which laid ground that issue was at client end while responding queries during Christmas period. Guess what, it was rejected as usual by senior management just to corner me, and here comes the meeting, The supreme boss asks all, what went wrong, all being poker face, saying everything was under control and my poor AD was being made scape goat. Hey, when you deal in bullshit, no one would come for your rescue leaving their bullshit to cover your bullshit. All being happy that all was great at their respective ends. And here is your tortoise jumping in the discussion and talking about the excel data. All of a sudden, supreme boss pays attention to this excel sheet and starts talking about it, as this is something would save his ass in front of client services meeting. I explained that in details, supreme boss orders one of the senior directors to get inputs in further details and there you go, that supreme boss knows me by face all of a sudden. 

The supreme boss arrived in IND and from day one, he is saying, he knows me already. Funny thing, the tortoise which was kept cornered all along is being recognized by supreme boss at every meeting, every stand up, every pep up talks. What do you do ? This tortoise shell is made of something different. The tortoise takes its chances and hush hushes its critics like no one does. Amazing that validation director was giving me regular shoulder massages during management dinner. And then plans of creating RFC and CCO supporting teams in HYD came out of no where and here I am in picture again. What a fun that is life becomes in just one year. But hey, honestly, it doesn't bring a laughter on my face. I know what is there in future for me. I am getting continuously perturbed by a thought. What if I succeed, for one or the other silly reasons (like domain expertise), this platform would be taken away from me again, and If I loose, sword is always over my head hanging). This thought keeps me away from smiling profusely but for near future, it sounds cool. Hope it stays that way.

Just now the AD had discussions (although his pet is not in office, no offence as he updated that he was was away in notice period due to his mother's ceremony, hey, I am selfish but not cruel) and was keen on informing me on organizational changes. Whoops again, not sure what is coming my way ? It is wrapped in a promotion is the only thing I am looking at the moment ! If not, it doesn't interest me but keeps me vigil that my reporting would go back to UK which is a good thing but let's see what is in store for me by life ? As you would have seen by now, things changed dramatically from part I to part II, who knows what is there in part III ? Although I intend to write more regularly but who knows ?